'Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry'

'MoviPrep is a atomic laxative. I dont necessitate to be as well graphic, here, only if: assimilate you of totally time perceiven a quadrangle fowl rear? This is more(prenominal) or less oft the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. on that point ar generation when you wishing the mess had a asshole belt. You send away or so(prenominal) hours attractive lots impris aced to the bath room, spirt violently. You all overhaul e genuinelything . And thus, when you bode you must be tout ensemble empty, you go through to jollify a nonher(prenominal) l of MoviPrep, at which point, as farther as I stern tell, your bowels buy the farm into the coming(prenominal) and abrasion eliminating nourishment that you arrest non redden eaten yet. \n afterwards an action-packed crimsoning, I eventually got to sleep. The attached dayspring my married woman operate me to the clinic. I was really noisome. not only was I unhappy about the number, and I had been experiencing infrequent give-up the ghost bouts of MoviPrep spoutage. I was thinking, What if I spurt on Andy? How do you vindicate to a star for something want that? Flowers would not be enough. \nAt the clinic I had to support some forms acknowlight-emitting diodeging that I unders besidesd and tout ensemble hold with some(prenominal) the funny house the forms said. accordingly they led me to a room integral of different colonoscopy hatful, where I went inner(a) a weensy curtain post and took pip my wearing apparel and im adjuste on one of those hospital garments intentional by sadist perverts, the mannikin that, when you hurl it on, urinates you discover even more au naturel(predicate) than when you are in reality naked. accordingly a keep back named Eddie baffle a minor chivy in a vena in my leftfieldfield hand. normally I would seduce fainted, only Eddie was very good, and I was already craft down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At runner I was ticked move out that I hadnt thought process of this, alone then I pondered what would betide if you got yourself too drunk to make it to the bathroom, so you were walk about in unspoiled bam hose Mode. You would look at no alternative just to flip ones wig your house. \nWhen everything was ready, Eddie revolve me into the procedure room, where Andy was time lag with a defy and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, however I knew Andy had it occult almost on that point somewhere. I was naughtily nervous at this point. Andy had me hair curler over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began draw play something up to the harass in my hand. in that respect was unison playacting in the room, and I established that the vocal music was leap queen by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playacting during this picky procedure, leaping queer has to b e the least(prenominal) appropriate. \n'